SURPRISE ON THE DOORSTEP

The doorbell rings several times. I look over at the alarm clock; it shows 4 a.m. It’s way too early for someone to visit.

I crawl out of my warm bed and shuffle across the house to the front door. I crack it open, but no one is there. I open it wider and notice a large package on the rocking chair to my right. I go out on the porch to get a little closer. I look at it curiously. Who would just put a package out here, ring the doorbell and leave?

My mind quickly goes back to something mother always told us, “Never accept anything unless you know who or where it came from.”

I look on all sides. There was nothing to indicate who it was for or where it came from. No marks from the post office or anything to show it came by courier. I’m frightened and don’t want to touch it. Is this package dangerous?  Could it be a bomb?

I step back towards the door and wonder if I should call the police or 911. I quickly go through the house and out the back door. I have to decide…should I make that call, or open the package?

I pick up my cell phone and call my sister. “Hi, May. Someone left an unmarked package on my front porch rocking chair. What should I do?”

“What should you do? Sally, do you know what time it is? A package! In the middle of the night! Did you see anyone leave it there?”

“Nope, the doorbell rang, and, when I went to answer the door, I saw the package just sitting there.”

“Well, I think you should call the cops because it could be something dangerous.”

I hang up the phone and go back in the house to get dressed before I make that call. I wouldn’t want the cops to see me in my pajamas after all.

After I finished getting dressed, I grab my cell phone and start to dial 911. As I lift my finger to hit the 9, I get a text message, so I decide to check it first.

So – sweetness, did you get my gift?

What gift are you talking about Frank?

The box I left on your rocking chair this morning. Did you open it?

Frank and I have been over for a couple of months. Why would he leave me a gift instead of handing it to me in person?

Why would he just drop it off in the middle of the night?

The day I broke it off with him, Frank was completely out of control and making irrational threats.

Frank, did you leave me a bomb? I called the cops to check it out; they should be here any minute now.

Sally, R U CRAZY?? Don’t let them blow up the package. You’ll kill what’s inside.

So what’s inside the package, FRANK?

Please don’t let them blow up the roses I left you. They’re to tell you I still love you, and I’m sorry for cheating on you.

Frank, you come over here right now and open the box for the cops. See you soon, or it gets blown up.

That should teach him. If that louse doesn’t show up in five minutes, I’m placing that 911 call. I won’t be the one to open that box, EVER.